By Merlyn Mwanza
USA citizen, Jason Makhela, who bears striking resemblance to Defence permanent Norman Chipakupaku, claiming to be his son, has suggested that he wants Chipakupaku to listen to a song with one of the passages saying “I hate you.”
About the song, Jason is basically sharing his “battered life experiences with regards to the issues he has already raised about Chipakupaku”, claiming that he has been rejected ever since he was young.
In the track the 26-year-old Jason Makhela is reciting his struggles drawing on the message being conveyed by artist Lil Simz under the title track “I love you, I hate you” and has been available on YouTube for some months now.
Jason claims that Chipakupaku left him and his mother when he was only five years old, saying he grew up with his mother who unfortunately died in 2008 upon which he decided to relocate to the United States. He says despite his efforts to connect with Chipakupaku both when the mother was alive and after she passed away, he has found no luck, claiming that the Defence permanent secretary has been ignoring him.
He said life has not been easy for him, as he at one point even suffered from depression on account of his failed efforts to “connect with my dad.”
Bellow are the lyrics of the I hate you, I love you song
I love you, I hate you
I love you, I hate you
I love you
So much, I would give my life for this
If the bullet was the beat I would probably die for this
How many times did I cry for this?
I would hate myself if I didn’t at least try for this
What’s at stake is bigger than me
Blood, tears, how it stains can’t rid it with ease
What we have in common is our pain
We’re given the keys
To unlock what it takes to fight for what we believe in
Hard to confront the truth of what you see in the mirror
Some people you inspire and others you trigger
Fightin’ in blind faith, led by the internal voice
You might not wanna do it but you don’t have a choice
Will the pressure take me to new heights or be my demise?
Will my intentions coincide with what I advise?
The people lookin’ up to me, doin’ everything right
But who am I to tell anyone how to live their life?
Your pain threshold will determine if you survive, I’m amazed by it
Lyin’ to myself, pretending I was never phased by it
Maybe ’cause you’re in my DNA that’s why
I love you, I hate you
I love you
Sometimes, I hate you
Always, I love you
But right now, I hate you
I love you, I hate you
You made a promise to God to be there for your kids
You made a promise to give them a life that you didn’t live
My ego won’t fully allow me to say that I miss you
A woman who hasn’t confronted all her daddy issues
The day will come when you gotta find all the answers to your sins
Pressures of providin’, feeling unhappy within
Or what kind of external family shit up on your plate
But I understand wantin’ and needin’ an escape
Too much unsaid now the silence givin’ me headaches
Only through speech can we let go of all this dead weight
Even though I’m angry, don’t wanna be disrespectful
Tryna figure out how to approach this in the best way
Hard to not carry these feelings even on my best days
Never thought my parent would give me my first heartbreak
Anxiety givin’ me irregular heart rate
Used to avoidin’ and then hide how I really feel about this
Now I see how fickle life can be and so it can’t wait
Should’ve been the person there to hold me on my dark days
It’s easier to stargaze
And wish than be faced with this reality
Is you a sperm donor or a dad to me? And still
I love you, I hate you
I love you, I hate you (hate that I)
Always, I love you
But right now, I hate you
Always, I love you
I hate you (hate that I)
On this mission, you live and learn
The world will show you no mercy from birth
How do you humanize your hero?
‘Round here you’re only respected if earned
Half-hearted sorry’s can’t let your guard down
To get to Nirvana where do you start out?
Angry ’cause they don’t meet your unrealistic standards
Then you realize that they’re human and you calm down
Sometimes I’m unbalanced and I think, “Rah, why am I losing my steps?”
Lately, I’m paranoid, I feel my life is a mess
I’m just usin’ my voice, hope it will have an effect
He was just once a boy, often I seem to forget
Lookin’ at Polaroids and pictures secretly kept
You know what was destroyed but you don’t know what was left
Tryna phase out the noise, of who you hear in your head
Everything is a choice and anything can be said
Is you missin’ the point, are you just hearin’ me vent?
Or is you ain’t understandin’, know when my words will connect?
I keep you in my prayers ’cause life is short as we know
Every mistake you make should contribute to your growth
What you choose to avoid will probably come in your dreams
I’m not forgivin’ for you, man, I’m forgivin’ for me
And sometimes
I hate you
Sometimes I love you
Sometimes I hate you
Always, I love you, I hate you
I love you, I hate you
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